I’ve been hiding behind photographs recently, and generally laying low lately. I’ve had a lot on my mind, especially with regards to my work life, and when things get like that, I have a tendency to huddle up in my shell and not come out for a while. I guess you could call it soul-searching.
It’s silly, I know, but in the wake of trying to hide in my little shell, I’ve lost control of so many things. I don’t know how to get back, if I should get back, or even if I want to get back. I’ve said things I didn’t mean, done things I didn’t realize I was doing, and feel like, in many ways, I’ve lost myself. I keep trying to apologize, but figuring out how to actually fix things has me confused enough that apologies don’t seem to be enough. I want to act, I just don’t know how.
I keep hoping I’ll wake up and it will all be bygones, but the days come and go and here I still am. I need real change, and I want real change. I just need to figure out how to start down that path toward real change. Everything is pictured in my head, from where I am now to where I want to be. I see the path, plain as day.
And yet my feet are pulled inside my shell, and I’ve forgotten how to walk.
Happy Chanukah, Tumblr! It’s been intense lately, but it feels like a new beginning tonight. Also, how cute is my Jewish duck? So cute!
My trip came and went much too quickly, much like the hurried gait of so many travelers at the airport. #chicago #airports
I’ve been spending the weekend at a convention full of fellow speech-language professionals. The amount of knowledge here and the love of this field is both energizing and inspiring. #vscocam #ASHA13 #SLP
Sara Bareilles - Brave
I realize I’ve posted this song before, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth posting a second time. It’s rare that I find a video that speaks to me just as much as a song does, but this one really captivates me. I love that I can close my eyes and get lost in the lyrics, and I can just as easily completely tune out the lyrics and just enjoy the scenes depicted.
For all the hard things I’ve gone through this year, especially at work, this song puts me at ease. And as Sara says so will, it makes me want to be brave.
I posted an iPhone version of this photo on Instagram not too long ago. My little brother asked me for a photo from the balloon fiesta for his facebook cover photo. He lives out of state and said he’d rather a photo of mine instead of just scouring the internet for one.
This is the one I ended up sending his way. It was a nice exercise, to work on a photo I had already taken but with a different camera. Between the two, I much prefer this one.